Arrival in Nagasaki ("I'm sorry)

I'm sorry. I'm staying in Nagasaki with Imsorry-San. Can you tell why he's called Mr I'm Sorry? I'm sorry if you can't. If it's annoying you in three lines, imagine what it's done for me in quarter of an hour.

I was unable to make a decision on where to stay: peace park; downtown; Chinatown or rail station. My train got in five minutes before the tourist information closed, and the girl looked like she thought she was going to get away on time so I put her in charge. That's why I am at Sorry San Ryokan.

He's given me lessons on how to open the front door (including a "challenge" to see if I can do it myself), demonstrations on how the hot and cold water works (accompanied by Brrrrs and Owwsss to indicate hot and cold), how to work various light switches, and the airconditioning, and who was staying in the other rooms.

All accompanied by "I'm sorry" after every statement. He really is. I'm sensing a case of obsessive - compulsive here. He fixed my sneakers on the shelf already. He turns them and the slippers according to whether we're in or out. There are blue and pink toilet slippers too (probably forgot Japanese homes have special shoes for the loo).

He also pounced the minute he could hear I didn't get my room unlocked first go (he didn't demonstrate that one, now be sorry); when I went to the shower (shouting instructions through me as I shut the door; I snuck past him on the way out but when I returned to retreive my room key, I picked it up too clumsily. I made it up the stairs but he chased after me asking what time I might leave tomorrow. Considering I had just got there, I really didn't know. "Check out is ten am," I said a bit firmly. "It will be before 10am. I don't know the exact time. I'm sorry." I emphasised with sarcasm. I don't know if he got the point.

One thing Sorry San didn't show me was the toilets, which are Japanese. I've normally been able to dig up a Western verison but this time, nature called and I didn't want Sorry-San hearing me snooping round lest he offered a lesson.

Japanese toilets are squat loos, with no foot placings like the Middle East or handrails like old France. It's just a narrow rounded oblong, with a far too high inspection shelf (ask a Dutch person).

Now I do recall that you're supposed to face the opposite way to a Middle East loo, only these ones were sideways. And the area I assumed was the front was position so against the wall that there was no way I could crouch / squat (choose your own less vulgar verb!) without some interesting gymnastic positon, my knees were going to hit the wall either way.

Lonely Planet likes to suggest that using the toilet in this manner is far better for your bowels, as you relax more. There is nothing relaxing about holding a position on an angle in a hot small room with slippers on and your pants round your ankles and your keys in your hands, your knees against a wall and a flush device sitcking in your verterbrae. One solution to make it easier I'll wear a skirt and whip my pants off before I get there next time.

Too much detail?! - I'm sorry!