Better glasses?

I'm really enjoying life lately. Which isn't to say that I haven't been enjoying it before but I am getting a heightened sense of enjoyment.

Things seem to be more beautiful, and I have been lucky to have seen a lot of beautiful things things this year.

I'm able to find a lot more peace and resolution with most issues, strength to deal with those issues whose resolution is beyond me (and wisdom to know the difference between the two, as the saying goes.)

I am surrounded by people whose depth, beauty and friendship is amazing, but while I am away from those people, I still feel their presence rather than feeling removed from them (though goodbyes are still a but blubbery of course).

I only have two small concerns, okay maybe three.
One: Debt
Two: What career paths to take next year
Three: Closure with the man from Espoo.

It's a bit sad that something personal is still lingering on a year later, but how do you get closure when that situation is taken from you? I look at my parents - more than ten years divorced and still unable to face each other - and think that I will not be like that. But the choice isn't mine, and that's one area where the wisdom won't just let this one be.

Regarding number two, the basic options are developing the social care business, going rallying or going freelance as a writer... I think I will just reassess at the end of the year.

Number three, well I have just accepted that will be on my list to my grave; a headstone that will say IOU rather than RIP so I don't really worry about this.

Other than those things, I feel supercalifragilistic about everything else. I'm actually concerned that the old cycnic in me has become optimistic. I'm even more disturbed to re-read this sentence and see that I have called myself a cynic and not a realist, as I have branded myself for years.

I'm not exactly sure where the change has come from. Partly from growing up. I think not being "in my twenties" anymore has made me smarten up my attitude. I realise that being young is not just an excuse for things. I also think that the four deaths in four months sharpened my senses. I see every day as beautiful and every day as a gift. Very little of what I do is so grave as to cause me to stress, and even less is regrettable. I also think that emotionally something has happened to me while I've been away, being able to articulate love for a friend has added something extra to the recipe of heightened awareness and better perception.

But it could just be that I have new glasses.