The perpetrators shall remain anonymous

Things a man should not do if he's trying to woo you.

Smoke drugs in front of tourists who were brought up on Midnight Express.

Spend the last night together separating herb from tobacco one piece of leaf at a time.

Present a girl with a carefully wrapped package which she assumes is a birthday present but ends up being a packet of condoms. Subtle eh?

Tell you on the second date that if you change your hair they would like you more.

Unload your emotional baggage to explain why you're unable to care for people then wonder what's wrong with you when you're upset.

Takes photos of you as you scramble / fall undignified down valley escarpments, rather than guide you down.

Things a man does if he's trying to woo you.

Sings Turkish love songs when you walk through valleys.

Play the saz like he's doing it only for you.

Talk of finding a house with a courtyard for a cat and a shady terrace for walking.

Dip into his wallet graciously even when they're worse off than you, because we're not in northern Europe any more Toto.

Take you to see a Cappadoccian sunset.