Happy Anniversary

Above: The first night...

The plane lands, late afternoon, when the sky is greying. I remember little of the arrival. A well presented Finnish man smiles at me at baggage collect. I remember blushing. On the other side, it's terse and tense.

We go straight to the flat. It's tidy, small and perfectly formed. I take a quick look, and notice he has stacked the kitchen with basics as well as thoughtful gestures, sambal olek and rice. A postcard; two rabbits, male and female, hold hands over a house. Lets make this house a home, is written on the reverse.

Downstairs, I read the noticeboard. I can't understand a single word. A single word. Like reading: iufb uihf ug kifj lg midf sdngn isbjin smishfgo over and over and over again. I walk twenty steps towards the van and kdjf ijf djfhiohhl isfj mdnf isjfgSDVnusv sdfdmv hits me. This is the language of my new home. My brain does this: jdhf ;lokifm ero euh eru faef and I am motionless there, until my eyes dry out from not blinking, until he moves me gently but firmly to the van. All I can say is "I live in Finland."

Upon arrival at Ikea, we head straight to the cafeteria. Tervetuola Suomi. Lihapulla ja viini. It's the viini I need, and I pour it straight down my throat. I'll make a good Finn...

I spend several hundred Euro on the essentials - there's not even a mattress to sleep on tonight.
That night, on that mattress, so much I can't remember. Is it that night he says he doesn't want any more children? I cry into the wall grieving for what won't be, such is my committment.

Tervetuola Suomi.