An apple a day...

I'd like this post to be about how effective the Finnish healthcare system is.

But I'm writing this with a sulky bottom lip, so it's not going to be.

The woman at the Terveyasema turned me away again. This time, her excuse was that it was too much information to input into the computer. She took half my details before she came to this conclusion. I waved my passport at her and my right to healthcare EU leaflet at her. She didn't budge. I cried and pointed out that I lived, literally next door. She didn't budge. I swore that her children, should she ever copulate, would have skin the colour of her fake red hair and matching lipliner tattoo. She didn't understand me. I left with a huff and quite the biggest bottom lip ever. A nice man followed me out and gave me my hat and gloves and a look of immense sympathy, which for a Finn is quite remarkable.

So now I have to go to town to see a private doctor. I had to pay at the Terveyasema as well so it's not a cost thing. It's an issue of immediacy. And how much the copper headed demon gets paid to reduce unwell people to nothing. "What's wrong with you anyway?" was her line in the end...

Things you shouldn't do when unwell, is google your symptoms. You should, as a general rule, never google the word "lump". You should also never ever accidentally hit google images when googling your symptom. Even "sore throat" will bring up feet with sores the size of craters and swollen genitalia with elephantisis. Quite scary. The symptom sorters come up with very dramatic explanations: "do you have protuding red sacks fill with pus? Then you have adolescent acne." A bit harsh; I can't see anyone with a pimple describing it in quite that way. I also like that a cause for a red face could be guilt and sex. Combine those for two red cheeks.

So I'll see a doctor in a few hours. Meanwhile it's minus eight outside, and my face actually feels better in the cold, even if the air is cracking it and my hair is frozen because blow drying is too painful. And while I wait, I'm going to scoff as many apples as possible.