Drinks part 1

Tonight I went out for a drink with people from work. It was much needed. The people I work with are an incredibly fun group. But the drink was also good.

After I walked down narrow London lanes wafting with curry and overspilling bins; only moments away from the orange glow of laughter and comfort I felt the pain. They will not leave me, the ghosts. They choke my eyes with salt and my chest with knots. I push them down but they cry out for some small act of comfort which will not come from this city, will not come.

Last night I slept in warmth and unfamiliar pillows for but a moment. Then I woke with brutal shock. The lips that kissed me were cold and blue and the body whose warmth I lay with was stiff. After that I couldn't sleep.

After ten years, the memory of intimacy is alive. Till I put it to rest.