Good to go

Whether it was yesterday's well wishes, or the sudden realisation of myself being 30,I feel in control and with the world at my feet, "good to go" as we say in Australia.

Go where, I am not sure, but good to go. The great affair is to move, right!?

So dancing to Kylie, old school style, and smiling fondly at the photos on the wall that milestone my life, the well stocked fridge that says "grown up", the clean floors littered with my junk - not some man's - I feel like I can feel the old self coming back.

Ambitious, determined, independent, selfish (say it with pride!), motivated, emotional, romantic, straightforward, spontaneous. And within that I can also be laidback, caring, generous and carefree, demanding yet approachable. And I don't find the need to justify any contradictions in that to anyone.

I recently saw some magazine article about how powerful turning 30 is and I thought "what a load of crap". But there's a point where, especially after being a snivelling low self esteemed wanderer, that you realise 30 is grown up. I am not playing games, I am not accepting second best, I am not compromising because I think I am not worth better. I will spend money as I want. I will surround myself by things I like. I will say what I like, do what I do and not need any endorsement, acceptance or otherwise.

Of course that attitude is not so different to what most of us feel at 13... The difference being, at 30, you can actually live the attitude, not just act it.